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    WedWednesdayAugAugust18th2010 City Prayer Tours
    byPaul Stevens Tagged No tags 0 comments Add comment

    I’ve been walking through the cities, towns and villages of Waupaca, Waushara and Portage counties for the past several weeks.  I’ve been blessed enough to spend time in, walk through and pray over the small central Wisconsin towns of Weyauwega, Fremont, Iola, Scandinavia, Manawa, Ogdensburg, Amherst, Nelsonville, Almond, Wild Rose, King, Rural and Waupaca. 

    In each little town I’ve met with the people who call these small towns home.  I’ve met with working men, single women, retired professionals and blue collar workers, single mothers and married couples, recovering alcoholics and business owners.  I’ve walked and prayed with these godly people through parks, and over school grounds, down main streets and on back roads, through churches and over taverns, with individuals and with families.  I’ve prayed over fire stations and police stations, over town halls and historical societies, over family homes and nursing homes, over libraries and park benches. 

    I’ve stood at the site of a gruesome triple homicide and asked God to heal the wounds inflicted on a small, close-knit community through that horrific crime.   I’ve prayed with a pastor over his small country church, asking God to use that church and that pastor to forever impact the community.   I’ve prayed with a mother who lost two sons—one to suicide and the other in a tragic accident, asking God to do what only he can do in healing and revealing himself to her.  I’ve prayed with a business owner, asking God to shine through the witness and example of that man and his business in the small town in which he lived.  I’ve prayed over the home where a close friend lost his mother to suicide.   I’ve prayed over the home and family of a community leader and with a forgotten 93 year old woman in a nursing home.  I’ve met with pillars of the community and with those who some would consider to be on the opposite end of the spectrum. 

    I’ve been touring these cities, towns and villages asking God to change me in the process.  As I walk the streets, and through the public places and see the faces and the scenes of daily life in these communities, I’m asking God for two things.  First, I’m asking God to give me his eyes so that I can see these places as he sees these places.   Where I might see nameless, faceless crowds of people, God sees a collection of unique individuals whom he knitted together and whom he loves.  Where I see people coming and going and doing the daily functions of life with plastic smiles on their faces, God sees individuals who are broken and hurting and desperate for the life that only he can offer.  Where I see nearly indistinguishable towns and neighborhoods and homes, God sees unique and specific wants, needs and hurts.  So, I’m asking God to give me his eyes so I see people as he sees people.   

    Secondly, I’m asking God to give me his heart.  Not only do I want to see my city and the surrounding towns the way God does, I want to do something about it.  So, I have been asking God to give me and the people from my church his heart toward these places.  Compassion isn’t compassion unless it’s met with action, and I realize it’s not enough to simply see the way God sees.  If I want to impact my town, I have to love the way God loves.  It was the love of God that compelled Him to take action and send Jesus to earth to set the sinner free.  It was the love of Christ that compelled him to reach out at touch the leper when no one else would.   It was the love of Christ that caused him to hear the plea and offer forgiveness and salvation to a criminal who was dying on the cross next to him. 

    I realize that if I want to impact my city, I have to have the eyes of God and the heart of God.  I have to feel as God feels and love as he loves.  So, I tour the cities and I ask God to change me and my church.  I walk and pray with my friends and trust that God will do what he does through me and those obedient folks who take to the streets on God’s behalf. 

    God, give us your eyes and give us your heart and use us—small, broken, insignificant us… to forever love, impact and change our communities for your glory.  Amen!

    ThuThursdayMarMarch4th2010 Me-Addiction!
    byPaul Stevens Tagged No tags 2 comments Add comment

    I’ve been doing a lot of reading and thinking and meditation on the subject of narcissism lately.  Actually, it’s been a subject that has been on my mind for quite some years now.  I first became aware of the issue of narcissism several years ago when my colleague and friend, Pastor Gary Strike, first introduced me to the book, “Overcoming the Dark Side of Leadership” by Samuel D. Rima.

     

    After this initial introduction to the topic of narcissism, I’ve become more and more acquainted with this issue in myself and among other leaders over the years.  I have watched painfully as highly narcissistic leaders have failed out of ministry—largely due to their own me-addiction.  Several high-profile leaders across a gambit of professional and spiritual arenas have fizzled into failure due to the destructive symptoms of unchecked, narcissistic me-addiction.   Former president Bill Clinton, Pastor Ted Haggard, former New York governor Elliot Spitzer, pro golfer Tiger Woods, singer Kanye West, to name a few, have all experienced the embarrassing press coverage and damaging effects narcissism can have on life, marriage, career and reputation. 

     

    The mantra of the narcissistic leader, as Strike defines it, is: “The rules don’t really apply to me.”  Me-addicted narcissistic leaders have an insatiable

    “drive to succeed (which is motivated by) a need for admiration and acclaim.  They may have an overinflated sense of importance as well as great ambitions and grandiose fantasies.  At the heart of narcissistic leaders are self-absorption and uncertainty due to deep feelings of inferiority. “ 1

     

    During my first exposure to Rima’s book, I came to understand that I had tendencies toward narcissism and in my early years of ministry, I was able to convince myself that I had curbed that issue.  I diluted myself into thinking that I would always be able to lead from a pure heart with pure motives.  So, you can imagine how disappointed, ashamed and taken aback I was recently when I looked in the mirror and saw a me-addicted, narcissistic leader staring back at me. 

     

    I had convinced myself that I was beyond falling into that leadership trap—that I was too informed and too educated to slip into narcissistic leading.  But recently in a season of brokenness and brutal self-honesty, my eyes were open to my own pathetic me-addiction.  My life and leadership wasn’t yet at that sensational and destructive place that has destroyed many other narcissistic leaders before me.   I was simply made aware of the seeds of me-addiction that were still deep within and that were manifesting themselves in small but potentially dangerous ways throughout my life.

     

    In the middle of this embarrassing and disappointing moment of self-awareness, the words of John the Baptist echoed in my ears.  Concerning his relationship with Christ, John said, He must become greater and greater, and I must become less and less.” 2   The antithesis of a me-addicted narcissist is someone who would say, “I must become less and less,” and yet, that’s exactly what must happen.  Like the Apostle Paul, the me-addict needs to pursue a life where he or she can honestly say, “Everything else is worthless when compared with the infinite value of knowing Christ Jesus my Lord. For his sake I have discarded everything else, counting it all as garbage, so that I could gain Christ.” 3

     

    For many people, me-addiction has played itself out in the form of narcissism.  But, in truth, me-addiction can take on many other forms.   For instance, others may struggle with a me-addiction that takes the form of (as Rima theorizes), compulsiveness, or paranoia, or codependency or even passive-aggressiveness.    Whichever the form, the end result is the same… a broken life of ineffectiveness!  The formula is quite simple:  “He must become greater and greater, and we must become less and less!” 

     

    If your me-addiction isn’t in the form of narcissism, stay posted

     

    1Rima, Samuel D. (1997, 2007) “Overcoming the Dark Side of Leadership—How to Become an Effective Leader by confronting Potential Failures,” Barker Books (Grand Rapids, MI) pg. 117

    2John 3:30, New Living Translation

    3Philippians 3:8

    ThuThursdayJanJanuary14th2010 Putting Out Fires!
    byPaul Stevens Tagged No tags 0 comments Add comment

    I remember one time when I was growing up, we had a neighbor that decided to burn off the dead grass in his fields.  This is a common practice in Montana, evidently it helps put nutrients back into the ground or something, I’m not sure.  All I know is that every spring growing up, billows of smoke could be seen rising up all around the valley as many farmers and land-owners would engage in this practice.

     

    This one particular year, when I was probably 12 or 13, our neighbor didn’t pay close enough attention to fire he had set.  Thinking that he had extinguished all the flames after his fields were burnt, he went back into his home and was probably taking a nap or watching bobsledding or something on TV.  All I remember is standing in my front yard and suddenly noticing that rising up behind our house were huge clouds of billowing, black smoke.  I shouted to my father and we ran around back to see our field and another neighbor’s field engulfed in a raging grass fire. 

     

    Almost in unison, all of our neighbors came scrambling out of their homes, grabbing rakes and shovels and garden hoses and whatever else was handy, and we began to fight the hungry blaze.  There were barns and chicken coops and farm vehicles and even houses that were in the direct path of this growing inferno.  Courageously, several dozen men, women and children fought the fire until finally it was contained and eventually fully extinguished. 

     

    As a young man, I loved the entire experience.  Maybe it was the fact I got to play “fireman” for a few moments, or maybe it was just the rush I got from the moment.  But mostly, I think, it was seeing people come out of the woodwork to help one another deal with a potentially devastating threat.  What a day that was.

     

    This morning I was reminded of that event, because as I look out my window today, I can see fires of many kinds growing in the lives of the people and families I love, and sometimes growing in my life too.  These fires may come in the form of a rebellious child, or a failing marriage, or financial stress, or emotional struggles, or... well, you fill in the blank.  I see the huge threat these fires pose to individuals, to families and even to the church body.  And as the flames grow-- the greater the threat and the more helping hands we need.   We aren’t prepared or even created to fight the fires of life on our own.   We need help... we need love.

     

    Jesus said, So now I am giving you a new commandment: Love each other. Just as I have loved you, you should love each other.  Your love for one another will prove to the world that you are my disciples (John 13:34-35).”  The Body of Christ, the church, has to be a place where we help both others deal with their fires of life, and also where we can turn to receive the love and support we need when we’re battling a fire ourselves.    

     

    So today, if you look out your window and see a fire of life raging on your neighbor’s lawn, run to their aide and offer your help, your support and your love.  If you look out your window, and there's a fire of life raging in your front yard, call out for help.   Simply stated, “love each other” through those fires of life that would seek to destroy, and in-so-doing, bring the miracle of LIFE!


    ThuThursdayDecDecember3rd2009 Confession From a Deer Stand
    byPaul Stevens Tagged No tags 0 comments Add comment
    I was sitting in my deer stand the other night, watching the sun set on the last day of the hunting season for me. As my window to bag a deer was being reduced to hours then minutes, I found myself asking God to bless my hunt. "Come on God, bring me a deer" I said over and over. In my prayer I started to remind God of all the times He used His authority to get animals to do what He wanted. Certainly if God could cause two of every animal to enter the ark, I told myself, He could cause a nice buck to walk under my deer stand.

    If He could cause a ram to get its horns stuck in a bush, cause a staff to turn into a snake, cause fish to swim into a fishing net, fill the mouths of fish with gold coins and cause a donkey to speak... why couldn't He cause one measly whitetail buck to wander out of the brush so I could fill my deer tag? I even tried to make my prayer sound more righteous by asking God to provide a healthy food supply for my family. If I were honest with myself, however, I just really wanted to blast a big buck.

    Suddenly it struck me how ridiculous it was that I was praying for God to use His sovereign authority to prance a big buck, broadside, in front of me so I could score my trophy (I didn't actually pray for it to stand broadside, but in my mind that's how I imagined it). I tried to make it seem less self-centered than that, but if I'm being truthful that's pretty much what my secret ambition was.

    Then I wondered what my prayer must have sounded like to God? Here was a man (a pastor, but don't tell anyone), living in the richest country on the planet asking God... to provide for his needs? Are you kidding me? Last I checked I had a good job, a refrigerator full of food and money in the bank (more than $2.50 anyway). I was asking God to answer a prayer that He had already answered--He's already provided for me, richly. In a world where over half the population makes less than $2.50 for a day¹ and where 4000 people die of starvation every hour², I was choosing to use my prayer to ask God for a trophy, to appease my pride, to give me bragging rights... Essentially, I was praying a shallow prayer for myself. How disappointed, I thought, must've God been with my egocentric praying.

    Then I asked the big question:  How much of what we pray does God really care about?

    Does God really care about what team wins, or whether I live in a 2200 square foot house on the nicer side of town instead of an 1800 square foot house on the older side of town? I wonder--how many of our prayers are disappointing to God? As we pray for our sports teams to win, it seems to me that God's concern instead would be for those around us who are losing... losing their hope, losing their marriages, losing their loved ones, losing their life.  And somehow, we miss it!  We ask for safe travel from point A to point B, yet we neglect to pray about the eternal journeys and the eternal destinations of those surrounding us... our family, friends, co-workers and neighbors. As I ask for more money for this bill or for that new purchase, and somehow neglect to pray for those who don't have enough food for today or for those who have it all but are still empty on the inside.

    I don't want us to waste our prayers anymore. Personally, I want my prayers to be less about my heart and more about the heart of Jesus. I want to care about and pray about what matters to God and not what matters to me. I once heard a friend pray, "Lord break my heart for that which breaks your heart." I like that, and that is my prayer today.

    This reminds me of the lyrics of a Brandon Heath song called, "Give Me Your Eyes"  in which an honest prayer simply asks God to, "Give me your eyes for just one second. Give me your eyes so I can see everything that I keep missing. Give me your love for humanity. Give me your arms for the broken hearted, ones that are far beyond my reach. Give me your heart for the ones forgotten. Give me your eyes so I can see."

    Next time I'm in my deer stand, may THAT be my prayer.

    ¹http://www.globalissues.org/article/26/poverty-facts-and-stats

    ²http://en-wikipedia.org/wiki/Starvation



    MonMondayNovNovember16th2009 My Story of Faith
    byPaul Stevens Tagged No tags 0 comments Add comment
    Spiritually speaking, I've had storied life. Like many growing up in the United States, I have memories of going to church as a child. I recall being told that Jesus loved me and I remember learning about stories in the Bible. I always wondered  what it might have been like in the belly of a giant fish. I also remember the skepticism that emerged with the teen years and what it was like re-confronting the claims of Christianity. Like many, I posed the questions in my heart as to what can be trusted in a world where hundreds claim to know the way. I've struggled with the concept of absolute truth. And in the wake of death and destruction, I too have angrily wondered why God would allow suffering and pain to persist. Overall, throughout the ebb and flow of human life, I've wrestled with the issue of spirituality, God and truth more than any other, and this is the story of my journey:

    My spiritual journey began at the early and formidable age of 10. It was then that I came to a place in life where I consciously made a decision that I was in need of outside intervention in order to experience hope and forgiveness in life.  At that time I asked Jesus Christ to come into my life in order to remove all of those barriers that separated me from God. In the years that followed this decision, however, I slowly drifted further and further away from the God I pledged my allegiance to. Though I never wavered in my assertion that I was a "Christian", my life was not reflective of a walk with God in any shape of form. 

    During this time (as I ventured through adolescence, high school, college and adulthood) I was trying desperately to find life and meaning and significance in whichever place I thought it could be found. For a season I was convinced that I could experience life if only I could find the right girl. So, I'd identify the girl I thought would bring me life and then I'd pour my heart, passion and my life into her, hoping to get a big return for my investment. After many years of dead ends, broken hearts and tearful nights I realized that what my heart longed for--no person could give, not even a dream girl.

    Then I decided the athletic arena was where significance laid. Though I'd been an athlete for years, after breaking from "the girl" formula, I began to pour my time, my energy and my attention into developing as an athlete, convinced that was my future. After years of gut-wrenching devotion to developing my athletic prowess and following a college career as a running back and sprinter, I was faced with the reality that natural limitations would prevent me from continuing on further down the road as an athlete. Furthermore, I realized that all the accolades in the world (athletically or otherwise) couldn't  provide the kind of significance that would last beyond the here and now. Once again I was back to square one.

    Following graduation from college, I convinced myself that my meaning was to be found, now, in professional success. I poured my life into my job as a teacher and a coach, thinking that by developing young minds and young athletes I would find my meaning in life. However, after winning just three game in three years as a football coach and then after making the choice to leave the teaching profession all together I, once again, was back to square one. Where was Life (with a capitol 'L') to be found? Was there a greater meaning? Where could I find the kind of significance my soul longed for?

    It just so happened, that as I was meandering along this fruitless path for about a decade or so, I never did give up on the faith that I established when I was 10. For lack of a better analogy, I just sort  of put my faith up on a shelf to collect dust while I tried my own hand at making life work. One decade and countless failures, mistakes and dead end roads later, I went back to that shelf to see if maybe there was something to this faith that I had allowed to sit idle for so long.

    As I was grappling with the place faith needed to have in my life, I began to reflect on the journey that had brought me back to that dusty shelf. During this time of reflection, I was able to see a pattern emerge. Through all of the fruitless endeavors and uncertainties I had experienced, there was one constant that never did waver. Standing out in a collage of bad decisions, disappointments and wrong turns were these profound moments of spiritual clarity. Spotted throughout my past were these unique experiences that I could now identify as God lovingly trying to get my attention.

    Time and time again in those moments of personal brokenness, there were these crystal clear memories of God, always present, calling me to something greater. As I was trying to force my own way, God had patiently been calling me out of the darkness. He did this in a variety of ways. Sometimes He'd speak to me through a person, other times He'd use pain to get my attention, and other times He'd reveal Himself through a series of situations. But, He was always there, always present, always loving... always!

    Unfortunately, I had a habit of not responding well to these encounters. Each time God would try to get my attention, I'd recognize the significance of the experience, but eventually I'd push it out of my mind, numb the pain and continue on with my own agenda. Then, in time, I'd inevitably find myself back at that place of brokenness and God would, once again, reveal Himself to me and I would once again push Him away and move on. This became a vicious cycle in my life. Only this time, I was tired enough of the same old way of doing things that I couldn't push God away any longer. I was tired of compensating for the pain of life, I was tired of pushing through the layers of dysfunction, I was tired of walking a path that was obviously headed nowhere.

    This time, as God was once again gently getting my attention, I paid attention to what He was revealing. As best as I knew how, I started to follow where I felt God was calling me. The first place that journey took me was inward. The first task I had to deal with was my own baggage, my own failures, my own mistakes. In 10 years of doing things my way, I had done a lot of damage!

    Under the weight of overwhelming shame, and regret and guilt, the first thing God did was bring me to the cross. Standing there in the shadow of the cross, the crushing weight of my past was completely lifted off my shoulders. All the foolish choices, all the fruitless pursuits, all the selfish decisions and associated self-hate and shame was taken away in a second. In that moment God's words in the Bible became reality in my life. At the deepest levels of being I felt God say, "I will forgive (your) wickedness, and i will never again remember your sins," (Hebrews 8:12 NLT). In that instant I was a new man, with a new life. I had found the significance my heart was craving for and my life took on new meaning. I was a child of God and with that came an eternal meaning that was far greater than anything I had ever experienced or ever could experience apart from God.

    Now having been set free from the clutches of my past, I have found an amazing peace and joy in the eternal promise given to me through Christ. I continue to seek after Him and continue to make myself available to Him and I continue to find freedom at the cross. In my humanness I still make foolish choices at times, but I know that because of what Christ has done for me that I am forever forgiven. God has given me a never-ending supply of second chances and in response I gladly lay my life down for the one who never, ever, ever gave up on me. In Him I have found new life, I've experienced true significance and am living out my eternal meaning.





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